i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My penis needs a shock collar
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
