Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
