Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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