I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
