yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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