she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
