Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
