u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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