Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
