omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
