I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
