your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
