Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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