Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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