What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
