I don't usually arrange sex via text message
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
