Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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