He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
