I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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