I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
