It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He shit in the fireplace
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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