idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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