New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
