it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
