when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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