I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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