My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
