Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
