we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
