Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
