we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
