Im at strip club and am horny
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We need to get me chipped asap
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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