I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
