the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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