its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
