She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
