Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
