i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
