make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
