and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
