sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
