The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
