there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
