laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
