That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
