i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
