all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
well you can't waste a boner
you win again, gameday.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
