All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
