there's paper in my vomit.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
