just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
