I'm eating all of the evidence.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
