We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
