HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
