there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
